-To work on-
Polyfidelity is predicated on relationships in good health.
The way our brains work with romantic relationships is in parallel most of the time, with three discreet neural networks that can work in tandem at times and almost always independently – the times that one network takes control is usually only during the lust period, which is that moment of limerence, where we have that single-minded, dopamine dripping, ultra focus on one person. The vast majority of humans can have multiple loving partners at any other time – regardless if physical intimacy is involved or not. In fact, emotional cheating (without physical intercourse) is rated as much worse by women. This is so heavily weighted in human biology that you are more likely to be asexual than truly monogamous.
It’s not really a belief it’s just an admittance of how our brains are wired. Yes, sexuality is not binary, and even the most celebrated monogamous creatures on this earth have sex outside of their partners, but it’s not even about that for me.
Let’s take a look at the development of monogamy. It’s pervasive, constant and seemingly ubiquitous existence in our lives makes it feel like if anyone doesn’t follow it or even breaches the “unspoken contract of monogamy” they have inherently evil intent, have uncontrollable lust or are just generally a bad/confused person. It gets to the extent where people have even come up to me and said “Oh so you’re a whore” with that vague underlying tone of “Don’t worry, because I’m such an open-minded good person person I still love you” and this makes sense to them, because even if they’ve had several failed marriages, cheated multiple times, their ultimate intent was good because they were trying to follow the social idol of morality that is monogamy. Indeed all these miseries and failures were not evidence toward an artificial system but sacrifices that had to be made to the false God that is monogamy.
Humans spend about 91,000 hours working for some rich cunt, 38,000 hours driving (more than half, just for the privilege to work for that rich cunt), 230,000 hours sleeping
It’s a mere admittance that life is fleeting, love is rare. That we can trust each other and not have to deal
but maybe I am making this too complicated, or maybe perhaps it’s all been in my head, and these deep connections are not real. That would make much more sense to me, that this was all a figment of my mind than just a life choice to not develop something that was so easily and readily available. I suppose it would just fit my reality more evenly.
Don’t put me in a box.
Friendship without limitation – it’s okay to be platonic, but just don’t define the relationship by its platonicy.
Some of the most “dependable” relationships have enough of a joined risk in the relationship that they may no longer want to stay together, but have to. Aside from children, moderate debt is the number one stabilizing factor in relationships in the US.
Just like chemicals interacting, when people fellowship together, share experiences together, there is a real material change. Our brains can not dispossess of this change easily, and with greater, deeper affection comes greater, deeper change. I feel that we have shared moments that have been much more intimate than sex, I feel that the boundary of physical intimacy is really just a symbol of a greater dynamic that has already internally occurred. A physical exchange to express the spiritual congress. Along with that expression there is no diminution of any sense of love. Like the dispensation of information, if someone learns from me, that knowledge doesn’t lessen me. If someone I love receives love from someone else, it doesn’t lessen the love I have for them. In fact, I can guarantee the opposite occurs, in my subjective life, every time the notions of jealousy (Invariably based on an idea of people being property) have been dealt with, and a new loving relationship develops, the existing relationship(s) find a deeper more intimate appreciation for each other.